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Posts Tagged ‘procrastination’

Not Writing? An Act of Self Sabotage?

March 19, 2011 Leave a comment

Lucky bambooWriting is all about discipline.  I know that.  Then, my question is, what does it mean when you like to write but in the end find writing to be a task?  For those finding it difficult to settle down and write, is it part of our DNA to prefer activities that don’t chain ourselves to a chair?  Or are we running away from ourselves?  Will our writing reveal more about ourselves than we want to share?  All interesting questions for the writer who finds they are not writing.

Recently, I found out that I am not alone in this struggle.  A talented writer/ friend is exploring that very same question.  What in the world is holding us back?  Why are we self-sabotaging ourselves?

Probably the answer is different for all of us.  However, I do see a similarity as I listen to other potential writers (there are oodles of us out there), read writing threads, and read blogs.  It simply comes down to avoidance behavior. 

If you look closely at your favorite writer, or for that matter, any successful person, you will see that people who show up every day and work at their craft, their business, their passion are the ones who eventually reap rewards for overcoming the challenges from every day demands. 

So, I’m talking to all those out there, and I’m talking  to myself —  If you want to be successful at writing, you need to show up and write every day.  Although the editor in you will say “This sucks!”  Keep at it. You’ll get better and faster with just the commitment to working at your writing with consistency. 

If you have experienced yo-yo dieting, you know it doesn’t work.  All those successful weight loss stories come from a place of discipline and exercise.  Sorry to say, I’m learning that writing is no different. 

You are like your first novel.  Just like every character and every scene must in some way advance the plotline of your novel, so must the writing and reading activities of your writing time. 

I’d like to hear from you, if you had many starts and stops to your writing.  How did you eventually move past your hurdles?

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Why Haven't You Written That Novel?

July 4, 2010 Leave a comment

missing puzzleI don’t have time to blog regularly.  I don’t have time to tweet or check facebook.  Some days I wonder why did I start this  blog.  I find the pressure to write a blog at the end of the day painful.   So, you can only imagine.  It should come as no surprise that my book ideas still sit in my head. 

I have analyzed my resistance.  I have told myself every excuse in the book.  I sometimes think I am like an addict to my established behaviors.  I make excuses so I do not have  to change, even though it would make a positive difference in my life and take me that much closer to achieving my writing aspiration — to write that novel.

Here are some classic symptoms.  You may recognize them in yourself.  I guess I’m doing that analytical thing again.  (And is blogging another avoidance behavior mechanism?) All of these actions murder the writing spirit.  Are derailing yourself from ever writing that novel?  How does one stop these self-sabotaging behaviors?

  • You are always too busy to write.  The holidays. The family. The house.
  • You start a story, but suddenly stop  because you don’t know what comes next.   You tell yourself, you are going to let yourself think about it ….the story eventually lands in a desk drawer bottom because you never find a good resolution.
  • You wait for inspiration, cause you don’t know how you want the story to progress and figure that when you see or hear it, you’ll know it.
  • You feel much better if you had someone to share your writing pain.  You can’t write anything without a partner.
  • You have anxiety about completing a project, because you may not feel you did this or that.
  • You think your first draft stinks…and most likely, it will.
  • Your family doesn’t support the alone time that it takes to write and research.
  • You find it much more fun to do the research and not so much the writing.  You like the idea of being a novel writer, but resist doing the work.
  • You over analyze everything.
  • You want each paragraph to be perfect, so you find it difficult to ever get to the end of a chapter. 
  • You do more blabbing about your story line than writing about it.  That has to mean something.

In the weeks to come, I will explore each of these Resistance to Success behaviors.  If you are reading this and want to share your story…maybe owning up to it will get you that much closer to achieving your writing goals.

Or if you have strategies to overcome the resistence to write, please feel free to share.

Distractions

March 8, 2009 Leave a comment

I’m not MIA.  I found another distraction from my writing.  And the one thing that irks me is that I let it pull me  away from the things that matter.  I started messing around with the puzzlesocial media networks and like most people, it sucked me in.  I spent hours discovering how I could maximize its features to either promote Moore Wealth, where I work or eventually promote my work.

This distraction, albeit pleasurable, nevertheless took valuable time from other perhaps more important projects on my eternal list of things to do.  Even though I’m great at making lists, I never prioritized.   Big MISTAKE.  I would just pick out the project that was most expedient and felt great that I could cross it off.

The need to prioritize suddenly has new clarity.  My to-do list is unrealistic and disorganized.  I realize how I shamefully squander my time and I don’t even get enough sleep.  And yet the projects that are most important to me never bubble up to the top of the list.  Okay, that said.  I’m not going to do the social media networking today.  I’m going to hold down the phone calls and email and take that time to figure out what I can do to make my life work better for me.

What help propel me into this hard work of reshaping how I do things…and believe me, this is hard work to consciously refuse to do what comes so naturally is the Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray.  It painfully pointed out my weaknesses.  Like going to your shrink, this review, re-evaluate, and rework of my behavior and the why of how things turn out requires much mental gymnastics because examining and critiquing your inner self is always difficult.  (And if you are finding this process easy, you aren’t digging deep enough.)  One strategy is to write 3 things down that you can reasonably can accomplish today that fits in your overall goals. 

If you are mother, no doubt the list is as long as your arm, but circle three things that you would like to see done today.  Focusing in a world full of distractions is hard.  My three things today are exercise, finish reading Harmonic Wealth and writing the first draft of a short story. 

To kick start this new plan, I need to go now.  You won’t want to miss my review of Harmonic Wealth, because unlike all the other self help books, this one has moved me enough to buy copies for my co-workers even before I even finished the book!

The Confession of a Self Saboteur

April 18, 2008 Leave a comment

I am procrastinating again. My goal is to write a short story by May 1…well, finish the rough draft at least. Not a tall order when you consider that the outline is sketched out and the characters are already moving around in my head. However, I have yet to get beyond “Let me put in a load of wash first,” “I just have to take the dog out and then I’ll be good.”

Oh and my utmost favorite distraction: “I’ll make lunch first so I won’t have to get up to eat in the middle of a thought.” And you know that I probably will get up anyway. I certainly don’t need to eat if I’m not hungry. No one can accuse me of starving myself.

So, on my way to my other self sabotaging behavior —reading and responding to emails, I paused and read a couple of Randy Ingermanson’s archived ezines. (www.advancedfictionwriting.com) Randy is an ex-physicist turned novelist and writing pundit. One article that particularly interested me was Organizing: Habits, Interruptions, and Achievements. This echoed similar sentiments in my last post. So, if you are having trouble, as I am, getting to down to the business of writing, read this:

    In a recent comment on my Advanced Fiction Writing

Blog, one of my loyal blog readers asked about the time

management system that I’ve been using, the Simpleology

system, which you can learn more about here:

http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com/links/s101.php

    This system encourages you to dream big — to define

what your ideal life would be like. You can make a list

of as many things as you want, and they can be anything

you want. Paying off the mortgage. Climbing Mount

Everest. Running a marathon. And, oh yeah, writing a

novel and getting it published.

    HOWEVER, this time management system only allows you to

choose ONE “long-term target,” ONE “medium-term

target,” and ONE “short-term target” at a time.

    Isn’t that rather limiting? Don’t I get frustrated with

that restriction? Wouldn’t it be better if I could

focus on as many targets as I felt like?

    My answers are yes, yes, and no.

    Yes, it’s a limitation on myself to have only one

“target” at a time. Yes, that’s frustrating. No, it

wouldn’t be better to focus on multiple targets at

once.

    That’s not focus. Focus is when you have only one

“target” at a time. Anything else is being out of

focus.

    Those limitations are directly due to a very real

limitation on all of us — time. Each of us gets only

24 hours per day. And worse, most of that is already

spoken for. So the actual time we have in any given day

for reaching for our dreams may be very small. It might

be an hour or two some days (if we’re lucky). It might

be no time at all other days.

    What’s a big-dreaming writer to do?

    That brings me to the title of this article. I’d like

to define three different ways we can spend our time:

on habits, on interruptions, and on achievements. Let’s

talk about each of those in turn.

    Habits are things we do routinely that we’ve mastered.

They may be easy to learn or they may be hard to learn,

but we’re good at them and we execute them routinely

without a lot of intellectual energy.

    Flossing is a habit. Driving to work is a habit.

Answering email is a habit. For many writers, producing

X words per day is a habit.

    Notice that these aren’t everybody’s habits. For some

people, these are major achievements. But many people

have mastered each of these and they do them routinely

without thinking much about them.

    Interruptions are things that pop up every day that

MUST be dealt with NOW. They’re not things that happen

routinely, and so they may take a bit more effort to

deal with.

    Getting the brakes fixed is an interruption. So is the

annual income tax grind. Answering the telephone is an

interruption.

    Interruptions can be good, of course. That phone call

might your agent calling to let you know that you sold

your novel. That’s great, but it’s still an

interruption and it still extracts mental energy from

you.

    Achievements are things we want to do that are worth

doing but require serious commitment for an extended

period of time. You often have to learn a new skill or

expend enormous amounts of intellectual energy.

    Paying off the mortgage is an achievement. So is

scaling Everest for the first time. Or running your

first marathon. Or publishing your first novel.

    Notice that while doing something the first time is

often a major achievement, doing it a second time may

be merely a habit.

    That’s a very important point, and it cuts to the heart

of the matter. Part of success in life means focusing

on one achievement until you reach it the first time.

After that, doing it again may be much, much easier –

so easy that it can correctly be called a habit.

    That is the answer to the problem of “I have so many

things I want to achieve, so why can’t I focus on

several of them at once?”

    You can do whatever you want in life. But if you have a

major achievement, then you are most likely to reach it

by focusing all your available energy on it (for a

time) until you reach that goal. Then, having mastered

that skill, doing it the second time will become far

easier.

    There remains the question of balance. There are things

you pretty much have to do every day. These are

generally either habits or interruptions. Since you

have to do them, my (excellent) advice is that you

should do them.

    On a bad day, that will leave no time to spend on

trying to reach your dream. Tough beans. Some days are

like that. There are one or two days every week when I

end up expending every minute on the routine stuff or

on putting out fires (or both). Life happens.

    On a good day, you’ll have time left over to spend on

those pesky achievements. You can split that time, or

you can focus it. I think you should focus it.

    Focus means applying your time, energy, and money on

ONE achievement to the exclusion of all others. Focus

is risky, because you might fail. But focus is smart

because it gives you the highest chance of success.

    Diamonds are forever, but focus isn’t. When you focus

on one achievement, you are promising yourself that

you’ll actually reach your goal in a finite amount of

time.

    When you achieve something, you may very well be able

to turn that into a routine habit, which doesn’t take

much mental energy. (It may still take time, but the

important thing is that you’ll be able to do it far

easier the second time than the first.)

    Then you can focus on some new achievement. That’s how

successful people operate.

    Finally, let’s ask which are most important — habits,

interruptions, or achievements? My answer is that they

are all roughly equally important. If you allocate time

for all three of them, you’ll thrive.

    What achievements do you have on tap for this year?

That depends on who you are and where you are in your

writing career. Here are some possible achievements you

might want to focus your energy on:

* Learning to write a good scene

* Learning to create a memorable character

* Learning to structure a novel

* Mastering dialogue

* Developing a strong proposal

* Going to your first writing conference

* Finding an agent

* Selling your first novel

* Marketing your novel successfully

Each of these is a major achievement the FIRST time you

do it. After that, it’s just a good habit.

Which ONE of these will you focus on next?